I'm sitting here listening to Bush.
I don't really know what to say, but I figure once I start it'll just keep flowing (because it's been so long).
My mood swings are so absurd lately. It's not really a swing, that's the wrong word... Like, I wake up every day feeling fine, but within about 3 hours that can COMPLETELY change. I never wake up knowing what I'll feel like that day. It's probably because I've been having really nice dreams lately and then I have to come back to reality.
This coffee is really good. I just thought you should know lol.
I really should be getting dressed and doing my hair, but I don't feel like it.
Shit, I forgot to do laundry again. Ok, I just went and put it in.
Now I have to wait another hour and a half to be fully dressed and ready to leave the house (I have no clean bras).
I wish I had some reefer. Chanel has a fuckin eighter Anthony left in her glove box and she just keeps coming up with lame ass excuses not to bring it to me. It fuckin sucks. Anthony said that I can smoke some when I get it as long as there's at least half left for him when he gets home on Monday (what a swell guy lol).
Last night I finished off the shake I scraped out of my box. Hula hooped while I smoked it, that was interesting. Once I finally sat down, the high hit lmao.
Aaaah shit.
I just realized I'm going to have to clear out all of our booze bottles from the basement before mom gets home. We have a lovely collection of R&R bottles and 40s in the cupboard down there lol. I have a feeling mom's gonna be snooping around the whole house once she gets home though, to see what we've been up to. Damn.
I'm kind of excited for school just so I can take photo class. Other than that, I want Summer to last forever. This summer has been amazing. It's had it's ups and downs, but overall, it's been pretty up.
"I don't want to come back down from this cloud, it's taken me all this time to find out what I need."
Now I'm listening to Glycerine. I used to have trouble listening to it without thinking of Robert and wanting to cry. It's not a problem anymore. It still makes me think of him a little, but for the most part, it's just a good song. I still can't listen to One Trillion Dollars by Anti-Flag though...
I can't believe that whole situation is still so messy. It really sucks. I wish he'd just fucking talk to me about it. I'm the kind of person that needs actual closure, and that can't be reached without communication. He doesn't want to talk about it, he says he's already over it all and doesn't want to open healed wounds. I think he's lying. Once you're really over something, you can talk about it. I think I'm more over it than he is, he just won't admit it. I guess I'll just have to wait it out for the closure that comes with time... It'll take awhile, but I guess it'll have to work.

Shiiiit.
Something came up.
I'll finish late.

Sorry about that.
Had to deal with some ridiculous shit.
And now I'm doing candle surgery while I update.
My drippy candle statue went limp on one side because I let a candle burn all the way out, so now I have to repair it with the only candle I have left =(
But honestly, I love doing it lol. And it's fucking gorgeous on top of that.
I want to make it bigger than the one at the road show. It'll take a whole lot of time, money, and effort, but I'll fuckin do it, man lol. I think that's the only life goal I can see easily happen right now.

My room is so trashed.
This HOUSE is so trashed. Michael wants me to do a good cleaning before mom gets home.
When we went out to get Dom (and ended up not getting him) earlier we stopped to say hi to the kids while dad was at work. I saw his bedroom and it seriously looked exactly how it did when it was Andy's room. It's fucking sick.
And to think, that man used to be a neat freak...

I'm pissed about the gas being shut off. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but we got the gas shut off this morning.
I was just itching my chin and thought 'I should go wash my face', but I really don't want to with COLD fucking water...
Mom's gonna spazz when she gets home and can't take a long hot shower. She said that's one of the major things she's missed. Michael even bought her a new back scrubby lol, so she can scrub in cold water.
That guy is such an ass.

I've been smoking a little less lately.
At least I'm trying, right?

God, it's been so long I don't even know what to say...

Anthony's in Indiana. I miss him =(
He's missing the last week of summer with me. Buttface.

Behind my ear is breaking out and it's really bugging me.
I think picking my ear is the new nervous tick of the week.
It was my index finger last week lol

I'm gonna go eat something.
Starvvvving isn't fun.